By Pt. Narendra Sharma
A deep look at relationships, dharma and the journey of the soul

Human life is built on the delicate fabric of relationships. Parents, children, friends, partners, teachers and companions give meaning to our days and nights. The heart longs for these bonds to remain unchanged, yet time quietly alters every equation. The Bhagavad Gita does not deny the beauty of relationships. It reveals something deeper. It teaches that the very charm of every bond lies in its temporary nature. When we demand permanence from what is by nature changing, suffering begins. Love and duty remain sacred but attachment turns them into chains.
The Gita invites us to see every relationship as a sacred visit. Some stay longer, some leave early, yet each carries a message from the Divine. When this vision grows within, loss does not become meaningless darkness. It becomes a doorway to inner maturity.
The Bhagavad Gita arose on the battlefield of Kurukshetra, where ties of blood, friendship and respect stood opposite the call of righteousness. Arjuna saw teachers, cousins, elders and loved ones assembled against him. In that moment of collapse, Krishna started revealing the truth of the soul and the nature of worldly bonds. Relationships are formed by body, time and circumstance. As these three change, the bond must also change.
From the standpoint of the soul, life resembles a grand theater. The same soul may play different roles across births. In one life, it may be a mother, in another a child, in a third a guide or a companion. Roles appear, deepen and close, just as scenes shift in a play. When this insight becomes clear, separation begins to look less like punishment and more like a change of scene in a longer journey.
The Gita again and again affirms that the soul is unborn and beyond death. The body is like a garment, worn for a time then cast aside. With each change of body, a new set of relationships is formed. What we call “my family” is a temporary constellation of souls meeting to settle past impressions and to learn fresh lessons.
Today someone may appear as parent, in another lifetime as friend or seeker. Childhood companions who once seemed inseparable may become distant memories. A person without whom life felt incomplete may slowly move to the background as paths diverge. None of this reduces the value of those bonds. Rather, it reminds us that they are roles played in time. When we stop insisting that a role must continue forever, we become more grateful for its presence while it lasts.
A natural fear arises. If everything is temporary, will the heart not become hard or indifferent. The Gita points in the opposite direction. When we know that something is fragile, we hold it more gently. A flower is more precious because it will wither. In the same way, knowing that relationships will change makes every shared moment more sacred.
True detachment is not emotional numbness. It is awareness. It says, “I know this person is not mine to possess, yet I will give my best while they are here.” This understanding does not reduce love. It refines it. It shifts the focus from “How long will you stay with me” to “How sincerely can I honour you while you are here.”
Krishna explains to Arjuna that desire leads to attachment and attachment to sorrow. When we cling to a relationship as “mine alone,” fear and insecurity grow. Love in itself is expansive. Attachment tightens it into dependency. That is why the same bond that gives joy can also become a source of deep pain.
Often the mind secretly demands guarantees: “This person should never leave me” or “This relationship must always remain the same.” Life does not support such demands. Circumstances evolve, priorities shift, time moves on. The Gita gently shifts our inner question. Instead of “Why did they leave,” it asks us to reflect, “What did their presence awaken in me.” In that reflection there is gratitude. Every separation then becomes a doorway to self reliance, not a permanent wound.
On Kurukshetra, Arjuna had to choose between pleasing his loved ones and upholding justice. Krishna did not trivialise his pain. He honoured it yet revealed a higher view. There are times when remaining loyal to truth demands distance from certain relationships. A bond that constantly pulls us away from integrity, respect or inner growth cannot be called true love.
In practical life this appears in many forms.
In such situations, clinging to the bond for the sake of convenience or fear creates deeper suffering. The Gita’s teaching is subtle. It does not suggest arrogance or harsh rejection. It speaks of firm yet compassionate boundaries. One can step away from what is harmful while still holding goodwill in the heart. In this way, dharma and sensitivity stand together.
Krishna compares life to the cycle of seasons. No season stays forever. In the same way, the circle of relationships is in constant motion. Childhood friends move to different cities. Siblings start their own families. Children migrate to distant countries. Parents and elders complete their earthly journeys. If the mind resists every such change, it will live in continuous grief.
Accepting that “change will come” does not end pain. It softens the shock. It allows us to live more fully in the present. We listen more carefully to an aging parent, we treasure small moments with those who may soon move away, we express gratitude when we can. When change arrives, it still hurts, yet it no longer feels like injustice. It feels like a page turning in a book that continues beyond the current chapter.
There is a subtle difference between detachment and apathy. Apathy says, “Nothing matters.” Detachment says, “Everything matters, yet I will not lose myself in anything.” The Gita stands firmly with the second view. It calls us to be fully present, deeply caring and at the same time inwardly anchored.
One simple measure is this. When we love with attachment, we keep asking, “What will happen to me if this person changes or leaves.” When we love with wisdom, we ask, “How can I be aligned with truth and kindness, whatever happens outside.” The first approach creates fear. The second creates inner stability. Thus acceptance of change does not dry the heart. It strengthens it.
All bonds in this world share a common feature. They begin in time and alter within time. The only relationship that transcends time is the link between the soul and the Divine. The Gita teaches that the same presence lives in all beings. When love is rooted in that presence, no external loss can completely uproot us.
Losing a loved one is still painful. The Gita does not demand that we suppress this pain. It shifts the relationship. The person who has departed is now held in a different way, as a soul on its onward journey. The love we felt for them becomes a bridge to turn within, to connect more consciously with the Divine that flows through every being. Step by step, grief transforms into remembrance and prayer.
Spiritual teachings become real only when they touch everyday choices. A few gentle practices can help translate the Gita’s insight on relationships into action.
Over time such simple inner habits reshape our responses. We start carrying the essence of relationships in our heart, instead of only their form. We remain engaged in the world, yet a part of us stays seated in quiet awareness.
The hardest truth of the Gita is also its most gentle gift. Every relationship that begins will one day change or come to an end. This does not make love meaningless. It makes it more sacred. To love fully yet without clinging, to care deeply yet without losing oneself, to release someone with blessings when their part in our story is complete - this is the art of living the Gita in real time.
Each bond then becomes a sacred exchange. Each farewell becomes a step toward inner maturity. We begin to see that behind all arrivals and departures stands one unchanging presence, patiently guiding the soul toward wisdom and freedom.
1. Why does the Gita describe relationships as temporary
Because bodies, roles and circumstances keep changing while the soul alone remains constant and eternal.
2. Does accepting impermanence reduce the depth of love
No. It actually deepens love by replacing fear and possession with gratitude and presence.
3. Is it right to end a relationship for the sake of dharma
When a bond repeatedly violates truth, dignity or inner conscience, stepping away with respect aligns with dharma.
4. How can one handle the pain of separation with Gita’s guidance
By honouring the grief, remembering the lessons that bond brought and turning inward to the unbroken link with the Divine.
5. What practical steps cultivate detached yet sincere love
Practising gratitude, reducing expectations, setting healthy boundaries and daily remembering that every person is a soul on a unique journey.
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